So this past week we had tryouts for our B team. We skated almost every day for the past ten days, and ended the festivities with an awesome scrimmage, which left me tired but so happy about how far I had gotten, and how much more was left for me to do.
Results came in, and I didn’t make the B team. I’m not disappointed or sad.
Being on the B team requires a certain level I don’t have yet. This is an objective assessment of my progress, my skills, and my performance on the track. I’m extremely grateful for going through the process, and taking it all in. I’m excited to have done the 27/5 again, and managed 28.5 laps! Next target is 30.
Happiness is in the journey. I know that I will eventually make the team, just as I knew I would pass freshmeat. I keep working at it without putting myself under immense pressure that I have to succeed at all cost. I keep skating, and learning, without overburdening myself. My confidence grows with every stride.
I actually feel free today. Free to have passed that stepping stone, free to have realized I can do extraordinary things if I stop beating myself up, free to have taken that risk and gone with it, without reservations. This is not failure. There is no failure. Just another attempt to make it next time.
Being able to distance myself and not take things personally has been the greatest lesson roller derby has been teaching me this past year and a half.
I’m leaving you with these awesome pictures of our scrimmage… Never forget you are awesome for putting skates on, and trying.
Follow me on Instagram @kikindateef